“If you want to become whole,
let yourself be partial.
If you want to become straight,
let yourself be crooked.
If you want to become full,
let yourself be empty.
If you want to be reborn,
let yourself die.
If you want to be given everything,
give everything up.”

When you demand nothing of the world,
nor of God,
when you want nothing,
seek nothing,
expect nothing,
then the supreme state
will come to you
uninvited and unexpected.

I need your strength and wisdom.

O Great Spirit,

Whose voice I hear in the winds,
And whose breath gives life to all the world.
Hear me.
I come before you, one of your children.
I am small and weak.
I need your strength and wisdom.
Let me walk in beauty and make my eyes ever behold
The red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect the things you have made.
My ears sharp to hear your voice.
Make me wise, so that I may know the things you have taught my people, the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock.
I see strength not to be superior to my brothers,
But to be able to fight my greatest enemy, myself.
Make me ever ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes, so when life fades as a fading sunset my spirit may come to you without shame..

Why should I fear?

از جمادی مُردم و نامی شدم — وز نما مُردم به حیوان سرزدم

مُردم از حیوانی و آدم شدم — پس چه ترسم؟ کی ز مردن کم شدم؟

حملهٔ دیگر بمیرم از بشر — تا برآرم از ملائک بال و پر

وز ملک هم بایدم جستن ز جو — کل شیء هالک الا وجهه

بار دیگر از ملک پران شوم — آنچه اندر وهم ناید آن شوم

  پس عدم گردم عدم چو ارغنون — گویدم کانا الیه راجعون

 

I died as a mineral and became a plant,
I died as plant and rose to animal,
I died as animal and I was Man.
Why should I fear? When was I less by dying?
Yet once more I shall die as Man, to soar
With angels bless'd; but even from angelhood
I must pass on: all except God doth perish.
When I have sacrificed my angel-soul,
I shall become what no mind e'er conceived.
Oh, let me not exist! for Non-existence
Proclaims in organ tones,
To Him we shall return.
 

The Story of Parvati and Lord Shiva-

One day, when Parvati was only eight years old, her father, Himavan, took her to see Lord Shiva. From birth, Parvati had always been very spiritual. She always wanted to know about God, so she was thrilled to see Lord Shiva. But Lord Shiva was in a meditative consciousness and he did not pay any attention to the little girl.
After that first encounter, Parvati used to come every day to see Lord Shiva. She would offer him fresh flowers, hoping that one day he would open his eyes and speak to her. In the back of her mind, she had formed the idea that this was the man she wanted to marry.
The days became years and Parvati grew into a beautiful young woman. Still Shiva remained absorbed in his eternal trance. How could anybody disturb Shiva’s trance? Once he enters into trance, he enjoys the highest and deepest bliss. So why should he come back?
One day, Parvati confided to her father, “I really want to marry Lord Shiva. He is meditating and meditating. How I wish that I could also meditate like him!”
Himavan was very sad that Shiva was not paying any attention to his beautiful daughter, who was so spiritual in every way. He decided to play a trick on Shiva: he invoked the god of love to disturb Shiva’s meditation. The name of this particular god was Madana. Madana had a bow and some arrows that were made of flowers. He used to shoot these arrows at his victims and then they would be filled with feelings of emotional love.
At Himavan’s request, Madana aimed his arrows at Lord Shivaand the arrows fell as flowers at Shiva’s feet. Suddenly, Shivaopened his third eye and caught sight of the god of love standing with his bow in his hands. Shiva immediately burned this unfortunate god to ashes because he had disturbed Shiva’s meditation.
Meanwhile, Parvati was standing nearby with a most beautiful garland in her hands, but Lord Shiva did not pay any attention to her. It was as if she did not even exist. He simply closed his eyes again and went into trance.
Parvati’s parents had witnessed the whole scene and they were furious with Lord Shiva. They felt that he had insulted their dearest daughter. “You cannot marry him, Parvati,” they said. “This Shiva has been insulting you for so many years now. You must not waste your time on him any longer.”
But Parvati would not budge. “I am going to stay here,” she declared. “From now on, I shall eat only leaves, wet leaves.” With heavy hearts, Parvati’s parents returned home without their daughter.
For several years, Parvati stayed near Shiva, eating only wet leaves. Then she started eating only dry leaves. After a few more years, she gave up eating leaves altogether. When she gave up eating leaves, her name became Aparna, which means “one who does not eat even a leaf.” Parvati became the goddess Aparna at that time because of her extreme tapasya, or spiritual discipline.
As time passed, Parvati went one step further. She stopped drinking water. She was living on nothing but air. Himavan saw that his daughter was becoming very weak. He knew that it was only a matter of time before she would die. So Himavan went to Lord Shiva and said, “Can you not see what you are doing to my daughter? All her life, she has wanted only one thing, and that is to marry you. But you have never even looked at her. If you are determined not to marry her, at least look at her. Otherwise, she will surely die.”
Shiva condescended to look at Parvati, but to himself he said, “Let me test her one last time before I marry her.” Poor Parvati had endured so many tests and still Shiva wanted to test her love and devotion. He took the form of an ordinary man and approached her. “You are such a beautiful girl,” he said. “Why are you wasting your time here? I have heard that you want to marry Shiva, but what kind of man is he? He spends all his time in the cremation ground in the company of his ghost-friends. The garland around his neck is made of skulls. How can you marry someone as frightening as Shiva? Forget about him! Marry a normal man, like me.”
“Parvati’s eyes burned. “What you are saying is untrue. Go away from here and leave me alone! I know who Shiva is. Do not throw your doubts and suspicions into me. I will never marry you, never! I will marry only my Lord Shiva. If you do not leave me alone this instant, I shall curse you!”
At that moment, Shiva assumed his true form once more. Parvatiwas so moved and overwhelmed to see him standing before her.Shiva said to her, “Any boon that you want, I shall give you.”
“You do not know by this time what boon I want?” asked Parvati. “I want only to marry you.”
“Granted,” said Shiva.
After Shiva and Parvati were married, Parvati came to know that she had been Shiva’s wife in her previous incarnation. Her name then was Sati and she immolated herself because her father, Daksha, insulted Shiva. But that is another story!

Ali mislite da je res mogoče še dolgo živeti v takem zraku - tako polnem laži in fraz da se ne vidi preko ceste?
- Po takih dneh prihajajo viharji.

you didn't have to cut me off

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say

Love is enough.

Nothing is better than this, and this is everything we need.



new chapter in my life.

changes(:

just be.

''I think it's very healthy to spend time alone.

You need to know how to be alone

 and not to be defined by another person.''

na znam.

Morm bit previdna,
ker še vedno slišim čudne govorice,
daleč stran od resnice!

“When I am silent, I have thunder hidden inside.”

—

Rumi

words are in my mind

So little to say but so much time

Despite my empty mouth the words are in my mind

Please wear the face the one where you smile

Because you lighten up my heart when i start to cry

Forgive me first love but i'm tired

I need to get away to feel again

Try to understand why

Don't get so close to change my mind

Please wipe that look out of your eyes

It's bribing me to doubt myself

Simply it's tiring

This love has dried up and stay behind

And if i stay i'll be alive

Then choke on words i'd always hide

Forgive me first love but i'm too tired

I'm bored to say the least and I lack desire

Promises.

Promises mean everything,

but once you break them

sorry means nothing.

One and one story.

 

 

When I saw you I ran to you.

Then we walked together.

Sometimes we had different views,

and I was running away.

Without you I felt heavy like a rock.

Trust me,

I won't hurt you.

Not anymore, my dear love.

And i realized,

once we were shadows,

now we are lights.

Love is one soul in two bodies.

happiness

A man once asked the Lord, “I want happiness.”

The Lord said, “First remove the ‘I’, that’s ego.

Then remove the ‘want’, that’s desire.

 See, and now you are only left with ‘happiness’.

Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose.

hope?

Drop hope. It makes you wish for a better future instead of realizing the gift of the Now.

“When you know my love, my love will warm you.”

—

Ruby Dee

missing love

“What is it all about? 

The obvious, which is all around us. 

The mindfulness, which is perfectly integrated into the human body and mind. 

The love, which is what we are missing.”

*

http://nix-nia.tumblr.com/

jaz te vendar ljubim.

nosi me po zraku, vržem glavo vznak, prepustim telesu, da prosto pade na meglo, ki me nosi. roke dam na zatilje in zaprem oči.česar ni itak ne morem videti in počasi mi postaja vseeno.vsake toliko pomigam z nogami, da sama sebi dokažem, da nisem mrtva.ob tem se vedno znova nasmehnem svoji neumnosti in počasi se moje plitko dihanje popolnoma umiri.ker ne mislim niti ne vem, da čutim.nenehno kričanje poneha besede pa so tako ali tako že zdavnaj izgubile vsako senco smisla.imuna sem na vse bolezni in pravzaprav mi je vseeno kam ste skrili svoje duše.lebdim kjer ni nikogar in oblak me bo kmalu potegnil vase.veke ostanejo zaprte,oči odpiram navznoter in tam ne najdem ničesar, ker sem popolnoma prazna.vsi ste daleč in jaz nisem na dosegu rok.kar naenkrat postane prijetno toplo.ti si.oh,kako si drzneš vdreti v to idilo,kako si upaš potegniti me ven ko pa vendar veš kako krhka sem.zavij me v vato in me objemi preveč sem ranljiva da bi prenesla moč tvojega dotika.ko si tu sem varna in nihče me ne more prizadeti.to moč imaš le ti, pa tega ne boš naredil, kajneda ne.veš, da sem proti tebi nemočna kot list papirja in če me zmečkaš umrem. in potem zbežiš stran in mi od daleč kričiš neke nerazumljive besede.zajočem in pritečeš nazaj.opravičiš se,žal ti je, da si me naredil tako odvisno,žal ti je, da si me vrgel iz ravnovesja.ko še bolj zaihtim me objameš in tokrat se ob tvojem dotiku ne zdrznem.ker nimam glasu ti na uho zašepečem: oh,ti neumni mali otrok.jaz...jaz te vendar ljubim...

Do we need distance to get close?